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" We tend to expect this one day to be all peaceful, joyful and stress free... with people we don't get along the rest of the year...!!!" - WHY ?!?
The holiday season can be a time of joy and celebration, but for many, it can also stir up feelings of stress and anxiety, particularly when it comes to family dynamics. If you’re facing triggers related to family during this Christmas, it’s essential to find ways to motivate and encourage yourself through these challenging moments.
The holiday season doesn’t have to be a source of stress and anxiety. By setting boundaries, practicing self-compassion, and focusing on the positive, you can navigate family gatherings with greater ease. Remember, it’s perfectly okay to prioritise your well-being and set clear boundaries where needed.
Don't let past family trauma ruin your festive season.
Understanding the Triggers
Family gatherings often bring unresolved issues, old wounds, and complex emotions to the surface. Whether it’s past conflicts, differing values, or even the weight of expectations, these factors can contribute to increased stress. Recognising your triggers is the first step in managing them.
Take some time to reflect on what aspects of family gatherings cause you discomfort or anxiety.
Become clear on those trigger factors even before they hit you hard.
It is almost impossible to stay calm and collected when we get that surprise trigger happening without any warning. It might still happen, but you can be emotionally and mentally prepared for it.
Setting Clear Boundaries
One of the most effective ways to manage stress and anxiety attacks during those busy gatherings, is by setting clear boundaries.
It’s okay to limit your time at family events or to excuse yourself if conversations become too overwhelming. Communicating your needs to family members can be difficult, but it’s vital for your mental health.
Maybe it is a safe word or a simple nod to your spouse or partner to communicate that you need a break. Maybe it is a trip to the bathroom to calm down, breath deeply and re-collect yourself.... ALL of this is totally ok. Remember, it’s not about creating distance; it’s about protecting your peace.
Cultivating Self-Compassion
During the holidays, it’s easy to fall into the trap of self-criticism, especially if you feel you’re not meeting social or family expectations.
Practice self-compassion by reminding yourself that it’s okay to feel what you feel. Acknowledge your emotions without judgment.
In those high demanding times, it is very helpful to have that trusted person to be able to vent and just let it all out. It reduces some of the emotional triggers and steam and often sets things into a different light. They can provide encouragement, perspective, and a sense of belonging. If possible, consider spending time with friends during the festive season, as they can provide a refreshing contrast to family dynamics.
Focusing on the Positive
While family gatherings can be challenging, they can also provide moments of joy and connection. Try to focus on the positive aspects of this christmas season. This might involve creating new traditions, engaging in fun activities, or simply taking time to appreciate the little things.
Share more moments with the ones that create that joyful and peaceful environment to balance out the not so joyful moments.
Remember: " what we focus on is where our energy goes towards."
Remembering Your Strengths and Identity
As you navigate family interactions, remind yourself of your strengths and resilience. You’ve faced challenges before, and you have the tools to manage this situation too.
Remember WHO you are outside of those family situations. Your WORTH and BEKNG ENOUGH is not solely determined by others opinions or judgment.
Know your identity and value in this world.
Celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and remember that it’s okay to prioritize your mental health.
Wishing you all a very blessed, safe and joyful christmas time
Debbie from Inside Out Counselling
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